Stand Where You Sit - Fighting the System within the System

A mentor of mine always says, “stand where you sit.” Very simply, it means that you should ask more of the systems you’re within. Because it is here where your expertise lies and where you can have direct impact.

I see this as also true in the system of birth. For doctors and midwives, they can honor a birthing person’s requests and use interventions as a last resort. Labor and delivery nurses can train in spinning babies and other courses on how to be present differently at a client’s birth. Birthworkers can learn more about bias, privilege, and injustice in the field of birth, including homebirth and freebirth. 

And people who are giving birth can show up in their birthing space knowing exactly what they want and need and then do just that. 

When I say you can fight the system within the system, I don’t mean that you need to stand up on your labor bed and demand equity. What I mean is that if you choose to birth in a hospital because you want to, need to, or don’t have other choices, you can still have the birth you demand. And quite honestly, just being there to give birth with a mindset that is different than the status quo is fighting the system.

Birth is not a time for a person to have to do anything other than what they want and need. Honestly. It’s a sacred time, a transition, a moment of magic that should always be honored and revered if you ask me. 

So the idea is never to make you move away from that. It’s instead to just stand where you sit. So if you plan to birth in a hospital, you can show up as you and make change by simply doing it differently. 

Recently, I interviewed some birthing people for a class of mine and reached out to speak with folks who have had or wanted unmedicated births in a hospital. I’d be lying if I wasn’t surprised by how many responses I got. 

In most hospitals, they will respect your wishes to not use any pain medications, but they’re always on the ready as it’s typical practice for them to administer some set of medications or interventions. I was so impressed by how many birthing people around me have continued to say nope to the status quo and showed up anyhow. It is this type of mindset and energy that makes hospitals shift their practices. 

And I got evidence that one of them has. They have birthing people show up weeks before labor to work through their birth plan and share it. Thus, when they arrive to give birth, the team is already aware of their wants and needs well before contractions start. Yes, it’s not a complete shift towards a standard model of unmedicated births, but it is something. 

I think homebirths and freebirths are amazing and also are ways to fight the system. But not all of us have that option. I deal with some medical complications that made it not the best first choice for me. And, many are the same where being in a hospital can create a stronger sense of security and quicker access to emergency care. So it’s never so simple…

But I do think it’s simple to say, and certainly uplift, that choosing the birth you want is what’s most powerful. Choosing to show up as what you want and need, no matter where it happens creates a shift in this world. 

So when I say you can fight the system in the system when you give birth, I mean just that.

*To be sure you know what you need and want, making a comprehensive birth plan is a great way to share with your team your birth vision. Check out my new e-book that can help you build yours!